Sharilee Swaity writes on family and marriage issues on hier blog, 2nd Chance Love. She also written a book on the topic of remarriage.
Wij are Opposites
My hubby and I are opposites. Without a doubt, it’s true. But wij are blessed. Don’t believe mij? Ask my sister. Or the kids. Or the neighbours. (They used to hear us fighting.)
My hubby and I met te that most modern of ways: online, on the Internet. Wij were both “kleintje of looking,” with one foot dipped cautiously and tepidly into the pools of dating, both still too jumpy from our prior relationships to pursue the possibility of a love rente too intensively.
Ter fact, after I sent a “smile” te his way on that stupid matchmatching webpagina, I swore I would swear off Internet dating sites forever. It wasgoed wasting my time, which could have bot spent any number of more productive ways, like cleaning my house or going to the gym.
When he smiled back and left a little note, I wasgoed intrigued. What wasgoed someone 1000 miles away doing responding to my advertisement? And he actually looked frecuente, and not slightly creepy.
Dating Online Is Risky
At Very first, Wij Seemed to Have A lotsbestemming Te Common
Our very first conversation did not expose the fact that wij are opposites. At very first sound, wij seemed to have a fine overeenkomst te common. Wij were both believers. Wij both worked hard. Wij both loved kids. Ter fact, for that very first month, wij actually talked for hours on the phone. I had not talked this much to a boy since being a tiener! I wasgoed high, thrilled. All my defenses were going out the ingevolge, and I hadn’t even met him yet!
And I did not know yet that wij were opposites. That would come after a few conversations. The very first hint of being opposites wasgoed when he talked about his music. He mentioned something about a song by Ozzy Osbourne. I had to check my earpiece to make sure I wasn’t hearing things. “You like strong metal?” I asked, ter confusion. “How could he? How could I like someone that listened to this music?” I thought, spil I listened to a Johnny Specie song on the radiodifusión.
My Hubby Never Misses Wrestling
He Never Misses Wrestling
And then other clues began to emerge. During one of our very first conversations, he said that he wasn’t a big sports fan. I wasgoed elated, of course. I mean, how often can you find a man that doesn’t like sports, like mij?
But then, one Friday, he mentioned how he had bot watching “Friday Night Smackdown.”
“Sorry?” I asked, meekly. My phone seemed to be acting so funny lately.
“Yeah, Friday NIght Smackdown. I never miss it.”
“Oh,” I sighed. “I thought you said you weren’t indeed a sports fan.”
“Oh, I’m not, truly,” he replied. “I’ve just always observed wrestling, since I wasgoed a kid. It’s my soap opera, you know.”
And then a few more hints . cracks ter the polished veneer of our mythical togetherness: I wrote him a letterteken and he calls, telling he’s not truly much writing. I tell him of my love for nature and he sounds astonished. I mention cats and he sounds disinterested, even stating he’s not truly an “animal person.”
And some more serious differences: he drinks. I don’t. He smokes. I don’t. I go to church. He doesn’t. I’m lonely. He’s sociable. I’ve had lots of jobs. He’s had one since he wasgoed twenty-one. I’m indecisive. He’s a rock.
It went on and on . maybe it wouldn’t work. Wij were very different. Wij were opposites.
Voorwaarde Love Cats
He Helped Mij Stir
My hubby continued on te our Internet dating, te spite of our differences. Te spite of my concerns. I had just finished a contract up North and had signed for another one at a different schoolgebouw. I had lived te his city before and made the leap to stir to his city. Wij had known each for only a brief time but the timing seemed right. I knew his city and lived there before, years ago. It wasgoed either stir now, or wait a year.
I determined to budge. I wasgoed startled out of my wits but wij made it toebijten. Te fact, my future hubby even flew te a plane 1000 miles to come and meet mij, and assist mij te my budge. He came, he helped mij pack, and wij drove the 1000 miles te a pickup truck and a U-Haul trailer with back lights that didn’t work. What a caballero!
While wij were travelling, the concerns of our incompatibility seemed even more poignant. Wij were strangers, virtually, and every difference seemed to be a glaring zit staring mij te the face. A blemish on this supposedly superb love. But wij ventured on.
The journey huis wasgoed joy and after that, wij dated for a while. During that time, wij fought about almost everything. I had rented a slagroom with his family, and so wij were te closer quarters than wij should have bot. Wij even broke up for a few months, both coaxed wij could not make a go of it. It wasgoed overduidelijk wij had nothing te common and when I broke it off with him, I had wondered how wij had everzwijn gotten involved.
From Our Cross-Country Excursion
I Would Google, ",My Spouse And I Are Opposites", Into the Laptop
Wij ended up getting back together and getting married after a few months but soon after, the fighting commenced again. It wasgoed overheen housework, overheen work, overheen the kids, overheen friends, overheen values, overheen how wij would spend our time, overheen what he said, overheen what I said.
Wij are opposites, like I said, and those differences were never so overduidelijk spil te our very first two years of marriage. Wij came close to divorce finta a few times. I am telling you, this wasgoed no pretty picture.
I used to sit at the rekentuig and google, “married to my opposite,” and “my spouse and I are incompatible.” I wasgoed desperate. So wasgoed he.
Wij Went to A Counsellor
During our 2nd year of marriage, wij were fighting so much that I insisted wij talk to someone. Wij needed help and wij needed it now.
The very first place wij went wasgoed to a duo from our church whom my hubby knew and trusted. They are an older duo who had done a fair bit of counselling te their time. They permitted us to come to their house several times and they listened to both of us.
They displayed mij that i wasgoed getting too hysterical and emotional. They displayed my hubby that he wasgoed being harsh. And they did one more thing. They directed us to a professional counsellor. And wij went. She switched our life around.
Wij went to this woman counsellor and wij commenced to learn how to communicate. Wij began to learn what wij needed to do to love the other person. And wij began to learn that this marriage wasgoed possible.
Wij were opposites but thesis two opposites could learn to love each other.
Wij Began To Complement Each Other
Our third year of marriage wasgoed the best. Eventually, the things wij learned from our counsellor and our duo friends, and the books wij had bot reading, began to click ter. Wij were opposites but that wasgoed okay. I eventually embarked to realize that my spouse did not have to be the same spil mij, ter order for this relationship to work. Wij could “live and let live. “
And an even better thing embarked to toebijten. Wij embarked to learn from one another. Now, I had heard this could toebijten but I hadn’t believed it. But it wasgoed true. Wij actually complemented each other. (And no, that doesn’t mean to tell the other person they have nice hair: that’s vleierij.)
The dictionary defines complement spil “Add to (something) ter a way that enhances or improves it, make ideal.” And that is what began to toebijten with us. Our differences actually embarking to become our mutual strength and wij began to learn from each other. And it wasgoed a beautiful thing!
How It Works
Spil I said at the beginning, my hubby and I are opposites. Te so many ways. But wij are blessed. Here’s how.
Both of our individual strengths combine to make a strong entire. Here are some ways that this has worked: