Who has the right to judge you?
Mij and my friends talk about this a loterijlot. I want to ask you for advice on this because you are so sexual and convenient with hookup.
I am with my dame for Four years. I love hier and I would marry hier tomorrow except for one ordinary fact. She is not willing to attempt things sexual. She will not see porn with mij. She is mad if she catches mij with any and I am te trouble. She will only do maybe Two positions. (omitted) I can not spend the surplus of my life trapped ter hier little world of hookup. What should I do? And I don’t want the politcal juist response. I want the Veronica three martini response please.
Thanks for reading mij. And thanks for your question. And now here’s my three martini response.
I applaud you! I’m standing on my chair clapping my mitts above my head! You are downright right. You should not inject into a lifetime commitment where you can not be yourself. That marriage would be fated.
Whenever anyone tells mij they can’t do something like see porn or go to a folder, or they will be te trouble with their playmate, I cringe. Marriage/partnership is not a contract of ownership. Well, not unless you’re agreeing to a power exchange situation, but I digress. A partnership is not supposed to mean you’re te trouble for doing something you choose to do spil long spil no one is hurt. Why the hell should you have to give up things you like for fear of your playmate’s disapproval?
Some couples need to find compromise on some things. But no one has the right to forbid you from doing things you like. And how dare anyone be holier-than-thou and attempt to make you feel guilty for liking your sexiness. That’s just wrong.
If this is the kleintje of damsel who thinks she has the right to penalize you if she catches you with harmless porn, something you’ve let hier know you love, then this situation is only a precursor of things to come. You want a wifey, not a nun. You want a playmate, not a parole officer. And you certainly don’t want anyone that thinks they can judge you and control you.
That being said, let mij see if I need to wave a finger at you too. Did you agree to hier thresholds and then pauze them behind hier back? If you did, than you set the stage for failure. She had no right to place that limit on you. But ter turn, you have no right to lie. I know so many dudes that are guilty of this. They want to keep the peace and avoid confrontation, so they lie. They vapid out lie, thinking the situation will just go away. If this is the case then you made a fundamental mistake agreeing to hier face that you would abide by hier unreasonable requests. Therefore she had every reason to believe this wasgoed a closed punt. So now, you aren’t just dealing with porn, you’re dealing with hier mistrust and hier having to defend hier false sense of security. And that’s all your fault.
So what now. What do you do to rectify this situation. My advice usually comes around to this: Honesty.
You need to sit this chick down pronto. You need to tell hier like you told mij. You need to be fair and open here. You need to tell hier, you want to marry hier, but you will not spend the surplus of your life being judged, or limited, or penalized for things that you believe are not wrong. You want to love a broader sexual and intimate relationship with hier. It’s one thing if she’s attempted something and doesn’t like it. It’s totally another that she hasn’t bot open at all to your ideas. Why should you be the only one making sacrifices? You need to tell hier you love watching porn, and you’d like to share that with hier. It could be intimate and joy. You need to TELL, not ask, but TELL hier that she has no right to expect you to be someone you’re not. And if that is what she wants, than she should go out and find this person that you are not.
You also need to apologize, if applicable, for having gone along with the boundaries she set. You need to acknowledge that this situation has gone spil far spil it has because you were afraid to stand up to hier about this. You were afraid of confrontation, and you treated it wrong. You need to validate that there are more feelings involved now with this because of your avoidance. You need to let hier know you own that part of the problem and you are sorry for having liedje or omitted anything.
Tell hier you want to build a relationship. A existente one. An fair one. Different from before. And you’d love to be married to hier. But things have to be different. She has to accept you the way you accept hier. And you will be fair, the way she has.
I hope that she sees this crossroad spil an chance to fix past transgressions and build something auténtico and lasting.
Alvin, you have to go into that conversation realizing that there is a very good chance of the relationship ending. There is a problem with a person that thinks they can judge you and penalize you if you don’t behave how they want you to behave. I hope you find the courage and self respect to treat whatever comes from this. You deserve to be with someone that wants to be with YOU, not what they can switch you into.
All text is innovador content by Veronica.
All photos are used with permission.
Movies are courtesy of YouTube.
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