There’s no point te putting yourself on an online dating webpagina, cautiously crafting your profile, and then sitting there, thumbs twiddling, waiting for offers to come flooding ter. It just won’t toebijten. If you want to go on dates, be proactive. And by proactive, I don’t mean clicking that one button that lets you wink, poke or give a supuesto rose to vertoning you’re interested, because fairly frankly that’s the online omschrijving to making eye voeling te a brochure, and then hiding te the zoekgeraakt. You have to waterput actually fingers to keyboard, and email the people who kittle your supuesto fancy. And if they don’t reply, it happens, and there are slew more fish te the imaginario sea, and the glorious anonymity of the internet is there to spare your reddens. I’ve exchanged messages with scores of guys spil part of 52 Very first Dates (my project to go on a very first date with 52 different people overheen the course of a year) and from my practice I’ve whittled down some essential dos and don’ts when emailing your chosen dates. It’s not rocket science but you’d be astonished how many get it wrong.
Tailor your email: When writing an email to a potential date, don’t just do a generic copy and paste job eg ‘Hi, I spotted your profile, you look nice. Anyway a little about mij, I like golden showers, grinding my Ferrari and counting my shekels ter the Westelijk Wing.’ It shows no sign that you’ve read their profile, and no-one likes to feel that they’re just one of hundreds of potentials being spammed with the same non-specific email. Write something individual. Yes, it takes more time, but you’re far more likely to get a response if you vertoning you’ve actually paid attention. It doesn’t have to be a missive of epic proportions, a duo of well-chosen common points are more than enough to increase your chances of a reply.
Don’t divulge too much: It’s also never a wise idea to turn your very first email into a mammoth autobiography either. Nobody wants to read your entire life story at very first glance, dating someone is a escalonado learning process, don’t rush it. A few private details are just fine, and vary them from what you’ve written on your profile – if they like the cut of your jib, they’ll check out your profile anyway, so don’t get caught out by churning out the same old informatie.
Don’t mention your ex: You’d also be prudent not to mention anything about previous relationships, especially if you’ve bot hurt ter the past. People do this remarkably often, and by flagging it up te the very first email it indicates this person is still preoccupied by a past relationship rather than focusing on a fresh one. That never makes a good very first impression. Keep it light-hearted and don’t druppel the ex-bomb – you want your potential date to be interested te you for you, and not to feel like they’re a rebound, or worse, your therapist.
Think about your writing style: It’s worth adding that it doesn’t hurt to pay attention to style. I can only speak spil a woman receiving messages from dudes, but anything that addresses mij spil ‘babe’, ‘sexy’ or ‘hunny’ is an instant turn off. It’s just tacky, like the online version of a drunken bum-pinch te a club. Likewise, emails written te the style of a text-mad teenage are also unappealing. Most folk forgive the odd spelling error, typo or grammatical blooper, but if you insist on writing ‘u r gr8 – letz go Four a drnk’, you’re most likely not going to get terribly far. You’re not paying by the character and you have a total QWERTY keyboard–use it!
The bottom line is, use your very first email spil an chance to pique your desired date’s curiosity. Don’t use it to bore them senseless, elicit their pity, make them feel like they’re being spammed or to sleaze them into subjugation. Be interesting, voorstelling them what you have te common and give them reason to message you back. And trust mij, more often than not, they will.
Single since ‘time immemorial’, Londoner CTS has committed to going on one very first date every week for a year. She’s chronicling hier dating dramas and romantic exploits ter hier blog www.52firstdates.com and on Twitter @C_T_S.
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